The end of The Tour de Farce

And so the Tour de Farce comes to an end - with a large beer in Chamonix. After highs and lows, rain and sun, sore hands, lost mobile phones and sore 'regions', not to mention a couple of new entries on the StuPiD moments page - they've finally made it to Chamonix. Here is final feedback from the boys:

George: I found the last day's cycle from Geneva to Chamonix relatively easy and was able to really enjoy the scenery. And what an amazing sight it was that greeted us - Chamonix is beautiful, absolutely stunning. I will definitely return, although next time I will fly instead! It's been an emotional week too and very tough at times (sharing a double bed with Steve in the hotel in Geneva being one of those moments...!) but I have thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. Here comes my 'Oscar' thank-yous: We couldn't have done this without Kyle - our support driver/first aider/lunch-maker/route finder. He's been amazingly brilliant and we are so very grateful to him for giving up his holiday and following us around - it can't have been pleasant for him at times! I also want to say thank you to the makers of Chamois Butt'r - it's an absolutely amazing invention that has prevented serious chaffing, if you know what I mean. Lastly, I am going to thank Becks (my wife) - our 'blog mistress' who has spent 2 hours a night uploading photos to Facebook and putting the blog together, and who has kept me together - you are a star ;-)

Stu: "Although I have been to Chamonix many times before, you just do not get the same experience looking out of a transfer bus window as you do whilst cycling along at 15mph. Today was just amazing, and for me capped off what has been an amazing 8 days. I am so pleased that my crazy idea, back in September 2009 resulted in the five of us completing 651 miles (check the speedo photo) without the loss of a limb, although the amount of stuff that Paul lost on the trip I wouldnt' have been surprised if he'd have done! I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported both myself and the rest of the team and our goal to raise £5,000 for Marie Curie Cancer Care and £5,000 for Colitis and Crohn's UK - a total that with off and online dontations we only need roughly £3,500 more to achieve!! I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my wife and daughters who have had to eat, sleep and breath cycling for the past year - thank you for your patience and I love you loads!! xx Right, I am off to party like it's 1999 - well probably until 10pm anyway - I'm knackered. (NB it was actually party until 4.30am....very impressive RM)

Paul: "An amazing tour finished with an amazing day. The cycle through from Geneva past Mont Blanc into Chamonix is one I'll never forget, at times I nearly fell off my bike looking up at the awe-inspiring snow-capped mountains. A great day was capped off with a lovely jacuzzi, sauna and dip in the pool. It is very difficult to encapsulate what a fantastic experience the Tour de Farce has been with so many hilarious memories. I would say that having spent 8 days with Stewart, George, Steve and Kyle, that I have made good friends. After a 10 year recovery I'll definitely be up for another tour!! Thanks for the memories boys! Finally, a massive thank you to everyone who has sponsored us and to Julia, Emily and Grace who have been so supportive over the last 12 months. xxx

Steve: " One of the highlights of my week has been the stunning scenery and trying to capture it on camera so I was particularly upset when my camera stopped working for the day on the Juras but at least I hadn't lost mine, eh Paul? After pulling it apart and resetting the time etc, I did manage to get it going again. So, with just the final run up into the valley beneath the towering mass of Mont Blanc, I was looking forward to finishing the tour and taking some more pics. I woke up at 5.45 before the alarm went off and tip toeing in the dark set about my arse preserving measures and the rest of my morning routine. My blocked nose was put to the back of my mind and with mind and body ready and raring to go, I stepped out of the bathroom only to be told by a half-asleep Kyle that it was not in fact 6.00am but 5.00am! After a volley of expletives I then went back to bed and so my day continued - a total struggle and I was so grateful to make it to the 'Bravo' on the road at the top of the last climb. UNBELIEVABLE WEEK - with a great night out last night to finish me off, but that's another story....

End of Day 8 - they've finally made it

The update is a little late and a little bare - this is a combination of the boys enjoying a well earned beer, the boys having rather a late night, the web-mistress going out for celebratory cocktails and not getting home until very late, and the boys having rather a long lie-in on Saturday morning (it's nearly midday in France and I'm still waiting to receive Steve's update...). Anyway, they are all well, unscathed and probably very hung-over. Please keep your eye on the blog - I promise that I will update it today with lots more photos and the boys final thank-yous and goodbyes.

Stop Press - The boys have finished!!!

The boys arrived in Chamonix early afternoon and are currently (3pm British time) enjoying a very well deserved beer. They are completely exhausted and are very much looking forward to not having to cycle anywhere tomorrow! A more detailed update will follow later tonight.

Day 8 - Final Day - Geneva to Chamonix

And here is the final map, with summary, for Friday 10th September 2010. Well done boys. (looks a bit steep at the end.....)

End of Day 7

The boys have raised just over £6000 for their charities - keep the donations coming in so you can help them meet their target of £10k.

Today saw the boys climb to the highest point on the whole tour, and saw them complete part of the Tour de France course. Highlights today include another StuPiD moment from Paul, and delirium finally setting in (see strange photos below). Only one day left!

Feedback from the boys:

George: "Thank you legs - you got me to the top of the mountain and boy, was it worth it when I got there - absolutely amazing! It was well worth the 6 days of pain, rain and wind to get to the top and see the beautiful scenery. We met some brilliant people today and following part of the Tour de France route was just great. I've realised that I'm possibly not built for hill climbing....or flat racing...I think I'm more suited to drinking pints and talking about rugby, if I'm honest. I don't think I'll ever fit in my suit trousers again either - my thighs are huge! I've been forced to face my fear of heights today - but dealt with it by cycling in the middle of the road for much of the way, much to the amusement of the boys. Some seriously steep drops, and no crash barriers - what are the French thinking of?? Only one day left now, can't believe we've been cyling for 7 days constantly....

Stewart: "I awoke this morning after 6 hours sleep (the most I've had all week!!) with a nervous excitement, like a child at Christmas. For me the whole trip has been about conquering this day; crossing my first col (moutain pass) by my own power! So, completing the 56 miles and 2000 metres of climbing to the col in under 5 hours made me a very happy chap. The weather was perfect, being able to go at my own pace was also really helpful, all in all, a perfect day. One I would repeat tomorrow if I could, and I never would have thought I would have said that at the beginning of the week! Oh and the 20 miles decent into Geneva was a blast - I overtook 3 cars, a lorry and a bus on the hair pin bends and hit 40 mph with Lake Geneva in the background, which was truly exhilirating. I can't believe it's day 8 tomorrow, with the tour rolling into Chamonix...!!!

Paul "An amazing day's cycling crossing through the Jura mountains into Geneva was an experience I will never forget. To say the views were breath-taking would not come close to describing the fantastic scenery and I only wish Julia and the girls were also there to enjoy it with me. The 20 mile decent into Geneva frightened me to death but in a really good way and the climbs although hard were not as bas as I thought they would be. We met some fantastic riders raising money for a host of charities and I even had a 20 minute conversation with a dutch bio-physicist about curing cancer and advances in cell technology! Who said life was boring?? Happy Birthday Emily - can't wait to see you on Saturday xxxxx (Paul forgot to mention his minor mishap outside a fast food restaurant - picture above....RM)

Steve "As many of you know, I have been anxious to say the least about today! 2000m of climbing in one day was a frightening prospect! My nerves were short lived, however, as we were presented with the hardest climb I have ever been subjected to (known locally as 'The Wall') at 7am and after 1 mile of consistent 13% gradient climb I was feeling that nothing could stop me from getting to the top of the Col De la Faucille. We split up to do it at our own pace and I was very content with finishing just 6 minutes behind Stu. Receiving 'Bon Courages' and 'Chapeaus' on the way up from the locals gave me encouragement and seeing the graffiti on the road left after the last Tour De France was awe inspiring stuff. The scenery was unbelievable and the weather was at last kind to us. As ever, Paul 'Duracel Bunny' Nanji kept going to the top receiving a standing ovation and a round of applause from us waiting at the top. Needless to say he also provided some entertainment with a 2nd StuPiD moment in a McDonald's carpark and also somehow getting his chain wrapped around his pedals ?!?! One more day to go....

Day 7 - Lons le Saunier to Geneva

End of Day 6

After a tough day, the boys arrived in Lons le Saunier in the afternoon, and after a bit of a game of 'let's swap hotels' they went out for a very French meal of 'le pizza'. Stewart has finally made it onto the StuPiD moment chart, with a particularly stylish fall (details below). We knew he'd succumb eventually...

Feedback:

Paul "A so called easier day today turned out to be very eventful and difficult for me in the saddle with a really strong head wind, a swollen hand and the previous five days catching up on me. However there was really brilliant banter, great humour and a real upbeat atmosphere. I will never forget being stuck with Steve in the back of the van, desperately holding on to our four bikes whilst trying to find a new hotel. His bowel disfunction was a real test of survival..... It was great to go into Lons le Saunier for a nice meal tonight but we are all apprehensive and excited about tomorrow's 2000metre (yes, that's 2000 metres...) climb into Geneva. Onwards and upwards into day seven.

Steve: "We passed very close to a small town called Dole today, which is firmly ingrained in my memory banks. It is the town where, as a child, I first tasted rare steak after the French waiter and chef flatly refused my parents' many requests for a well done steak! Dijon will unfortunately be in my memory banks for being the first place where I tasted rare bluebottle. Having opened my mouth to criticise a seemingly pointless cycle route, the patriotic little blighter went kamikaze straight into my throat to shut the whinging ros boeuf up. That incident aside I had a fantastic day. The wind was against us big time (Paul and I reduced to 8mph on the flat and hysterics at one point) but the sun was out for the most part and the Jura mountains finally came into view. Oh my word - tomorrow is going to be tough!! Following the ride we treated ourselves to a picnic outside our hotel where we met some other English cyclists who are doing the Paris-Geneva route. They donned their Chapeaus to us and then assisted us in complaining about our room which was utterly gross!! Our early night and loads of rest having been successfully avoided we concluded with a transfer with Paul, the bikes and I having a disco in the back of the van due to his strobe lighting being stuck in the on position! Nothing seems to be easy but hey it's all part of the adventure!

Stewart: "Today was another great day. As much as my backside is aching I am truly enjoying every minute of this adventure! Little things like gale force winds, torrential rain, burning sun and now suggestions we could have snow at the peak of the pass we have to get through are just adding to it!! I am writing this whilst lying on my bed in a nice traditional French hotel as the original one I booked had roooms I would not wish on my worst enemy. Despite the slight hassle in decamping, seeing Paul's face getting out of the back of the van after Steve's "loss of self-control" was hysterical! Ooh, did I mention that I have joined the StuPiD ranks? A gust of wind took me and the bike as I went to grab a rail. I think I managed to get away with it though - don't think anyone noticed....!!

George: "Dear legs; please don't let me down tomorrow.... I will pay you back kindly if you get me up the mountain.... Another 'easy' day today - yet again the weather turned it into something horrendous. Side winds which meant you had to cycle towards the fields to make sure that you went in a straight line, and rain that swept in across the fields in waves. We met a bunch of really nice cyclists today - they will probably overtake us on our way up tomorrow! My GCSE French was tested - we didn't cover 'complaining about hotel rooms' in class! Am still really enjoying the experience - we are a great team! Night all.

Day 6 - Dijon to Lons le Saunier

Maps and route for day 6 - Wednesday 8th September 2010

End of Day 5

End of Day 5 - another wet and windy day but only 3 days left to go!! The boys are now in Dijon (mustard anyone?), well on their way to the Alps.


Feedback from the day:


Steve: "Du pain, du vin, du Boursin. Non! Do rain, no wine, do urarsein.... Yet another day has passed and we are still well on track. It has rained pretty much most of the day with plenty of wind both indoors and out! The low bulk, high carbs energy supplements are certainly taking their toll and I'm glad I'm on Denplan with the amount of sugar I'm taking in! Despite the weather, we flew the 98 miles today and are all in high spirits but having seen the 70kmh winds and thunderstorms forecast for tomorrow we are highly concerned!! The French have cheered us on and we even got our first 'chapeau' today (chapeau is shouted to the Tour De France riders). Off to go and hair-dry my shoes, socks, tops, shorts...."


Paul: "I must admit I woke up with a combination of trepidation and worry as we entered day five of the 'Tour de Farce'. Day four ("an easy one"; Stewart Broome, 4.9.2010) was anything but and with big climbs, head winds and rain I feared the worst for what lay ahead. How wrong was I - despite the rain we had an exhilirating day's cycling with the massive downpour as we dropped into Dijon being an amazing experience. Even when the going got tough the regular shouts from George of 'go on my son' kept me on schedule and we are feeling in good spirits as we enter day 6."

Stewart: "I'm trying to write this whilst still laughing from reading Steve's comments....anyway today for me was amazing. Granted it p***ed it down the likes of which I haven't seen for some time, but doing 30mph down a five mile decent with the rain stinging your face is quite an experience... especially when you realise that your braking distance has quadrupled!! Today I also saved a French lady's dog that chased Steve and Paul down the main road with lorries and cars speeding along. I made sure that the lorry stopped and managed to grab the dog's collar. The lady was very grateful, at least I think she was as french is not my strong point.... On the whole a very enjoyable 100 miles."


George: "Had a really good day today - even though it was a long day with some big climbs, and the weather was atrocious - cycling into a headwind. Spirits were good and we did it in record time - faster today (100 miles) than yesterday (79 miles). We are gearing ourselves up for the big climbs on Thursday. I am learning to time the intake of energy bars to maximise the buzz - best not straight after a big lunch; but I am running low on mars bars - nightmare! Kyle to the rescue. ... I've been banned from sleeping on the camp-bed in the hotel room because I bounce up and down too much and keep the others awake (good ploy eh?), Bon nuit"

Day 5 - Tuesday 7th September route map

Route map and details for Day 5 (Tuesday 7th September)

End of Day 4

End of Day 4 saw the boys arriving in Troyes in the early evening. A very windy and rainy day meant that the going was quite tough.

George: "Early bed tonight because we've got a really long day tomorrow. Today started off with a big hill, so no time to warm up (ouch). The head wind and rain made it quite difficult - lorries aren't allowed on the road in France on a Sunday so they made up for it today, which created nasty spray and some serious drag. We stuck together closely for safety in numbers. I have been nominated as 'group French speaker' (Mum will be v proud!) - might have to give Stu some lessons as he ordered 'fish' as a drink, but the 85 year old lady in the park seemed to understand me... I would personally like to thank the inventor of chamois butter - what a god send. Night all. "

Stu: "Today was supposed to be easy at 70 miles and 500 metres of climbing, but thanks to a brisk headwind and the fact that the climbing was closer to 1000 metres, it was anything but!! This was not what I needed as I was sick in the middle of the night, and due to a bad stomach pain I was unable to take any sports nutritional supplements to help fuel this exertion - but on a positive note, I made it without feeling it was too much!! We passed a milestone today, as we went through the halfway point, not exactly an inspiring location - it was outside a grotty looking grain store. Let's hope the weather will be better tomorrow!

Paul: "For some mad reason I had a vision of coasting the 75 miles today with the wind and sun on my back with effortless ease, cruising into Troyes with whole evening to relax. How wrong was I?! As well what seemed like a continuous head wind, the down-hill part of the route did not materialise - instead it was uphill all the way. We were all shattered by the time we reached Troyes at six but at least we broke the half-way point which is a major milestone. A massive pat on the back for Kyle who pulled together a fantastic picnic for lunch and the rest of the boys for protecting me from the headwinds by forming a pelaton."

Steve: "Today was supposed to be an easy day by the tour's standards and proved to be far from it! We cycled into a 15 mph headwind all day long with showers throughout the day including a really heavy one just as we arrived in Troyes. This combined with the fact that we did double the amount of climbing as we were supposed to means that we are all really knackered and seriously worried about the same thing reoccuring tomorrow. On the bright side, we are over the half way point and our teamwork really paid off today, in getting ready and by cycling in a pelaton to shelter from the wind. Mon Chapeau is off to the French who have driven so courteously to us including the lorry drivers and the Peugeot driver who I stupidly pulled out in front of! each time a lorry came past it was like someone pushing you back down the hills in the chest! Bring on tomorrow....!!!!"